Coach Approach Blog
Do I hold on or let go?
Holding Close and Setting Free as a Way of Living
"Holding close and setting free is not a common concept. Most people tend to think in terms of “holding on” or “letting go”—choosing one or the other. The idea of holding something or someone close and, at the same time, setting them free—two gestures becoming one—opens a new world of possibilities.
For me, holding close and setting free has become a beautiful and grace-filled way of living. I believe that the highest form of relationship—wheth…
What if I don't feel like paying it forward?
What do coaches do again?
Today, I want to give you a little more insight into the coaching profession. More and more people are hiring coaches, and yet few people know what coaches actually do, or what skills they are trained in.
What's your why? What makes it important to you right now to learn to grow as a person, communicate more effectively, listen more attentively, or encourage others in their growth?
Coaching skills are highly transferrable and exceedingly valuable - you can use them as a grandmother, as a line…
Are you your mom?
Some of us had caring mothers or other care-givers who consistently provided kindness and support. Some of us had more difficult experiences.
Our natural ability to be gentle and kind to ourselves has been shaped by those early voices of safety and nurture, or lack thereof. Good news! According to one of my all-time favorite teachers, Kristin Neff, even if you did not feel secure with your parents or care-givers as a little one, you can still learn to feel secure by practicing self-compassion …
Treasures from a littler you
I could only fly when no one was looking, and not for very long. But when I was alone in the house, if I wore my favorite Peter Pan outfit, I could glide down the staircase silently, hovering gently a few inches above the floorboards.
I also knew how to climb high into a tree, waaaay above the roof of the house, and feel the breeze swaying me and the ever-narrowing tree trunk and my fingertips covered with sap. My muscles were strong with the feeling of having run and leaped and clung to the l…
Whose reality is correct?
Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone about what REALLY happened? It can get pretty crazy-making.
Memory is a weird thing, and our brains are excellent at deleting and distorting most things and selecting the pieces that fit into a pre-conceived story that makes sense (and that makes us look good). Especially when we're feeling self-protective.
Even as adults, we can get into our own versions of "Did not!" "Did too!" ad infinitum. The best of us, in our worst moments, can be caugh…
What if you could ride the wave?
One of my all-time favorite places to be is Diani Beach. When our family lived in Kenya, we had the privilege of traveling to the coast several times and staying right on the white sandy shoreline, where I was filled with awe and wonder at each quiet sunrise, and I would wade out into the warm waves.
I can still feel the ultimate stillness coursing through my body the moment I placed my snorkeled face into the water. Suddenly, a whole new world of light and color and movement opened up, as bri…
Are you the elephant or the rider?
Imagine a giant, hulking Elephant with huge tusks.
It doesn't take much for me to imagine, because I nearly fainted when I saw a ginormous elephant eyeball peering through the roof of our flimsy tent in Amboseli National Park. I can still vividly see its eyelashes and the thick, dusty folds of its skin! And I will never forget its even more ginormous right tusk blocking our escape route to our puny-looking car. I could scarcely move or breathe as it loudly tore branches from the bushes just ar…
What's beyond conflict?
When I'm talking with a person in conflict, I'm often struck by how one person in a conflict is desperately pleading with another to take a new perspective. "Look at it like this," they might say. And the person they are pleading with stays cold, also wanting to be seen and heard. If only YOU could get a new perspective, they say.
It seems that the whole world has gotten into an addiction to conflict. New perspectives are forced upon us by older or younger generations. The Covid pandemic brough…
Are you insecure?
I've been feeling insecure lately. I was telling myself, "I just don't know what to do about European VAT taxes." It was looming big, scary, and unknowable. I was feeling like a stupid foreigner and even borderline criminal.
I was really panicking about it, so I began practicing one of my morning rituals of syncing my breathing to my pulse, and slowing them both down. (Full disclosure, I avoided my daily calming routines for a couple of days and just ate chocolate and got overwhelmed until I re…