The three big questions
It's good to see you again! I'd love to hear from you - what burning topic would you like me to write about? What's going on with you these days that you'd like some support with?
So many questions! And in coaching, there are three main questions that can make all the difference in your life. I remember very well the first time I heard them spelled out clearly.
A Canadian coach named Suzanne Stevens had come to Nairobi, Kenya where I was living. Even though I'm American, I had somehow gotten lucky enough to be invited to a round table of eight Kenyan influencers. Suzanne was clearly the leader in the circle. She had a calming sense of her own power, and she was the one asking the kinds of questions that made each of us know that we had power, too. She asked them, slowly, deliberately, and one at a time, leaving us all plenty of time to reflect.
Question One: What do you want that you haven't achieved yet?
You might want to take the time to get out a pen and have a good think on this one. For me, the answer was clear and leaped to my mind immediately. I really wanted to take a coach training, and I had been researching schools, and then researching again, and then researching again. I had some ideas about why I wanted it so badly - I knew the transformation that had happened in my own life when I'd received coaching. The "pros" list was pretty long. I just hadn't taken the plunge.
Questions Two: What is holding you back?
Tears sprang to my eyes at this question. Once again, I had the answer within me. Yes, the coach training would be an investment. Yes, it would take time, inner work, and courage. But the real reason I hadn't signed up for the course wasn't the expense or the time commitment, it was the voice in my head saying, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??????" I believed I had to already know, to already be a role model, to already be good enough to be a coach. But some part of me recognized that couldn't be true--the course would be part of my hero's journey.
Question Three: What are you going to do next?
Suddenly, I knew. There was a course that I had been eyeing for a while. It was in the several thousands of dollars, and I knew I would gain back everything and more. I decided to sign up that very day for the upcoming start date. And to anyone who dared ask me who I thought I was, I would say, "I'm the Beloved child of the eternal, and I'm meant to be a blessing. This is my way to be who I'm meant to be." And so I went home and signed up.
That was in 2009. At the time, I didn't have any intention of becoming a life coach, I just wanted to learn what it would take to be a better wife, mom, colleague, and friend. Little did I know how far it would take me.
So, my questions to you are (slowly, one-at-a-time, with plenty of reflection):
- What do YOU really want?
- What is holding you back?
- And what is your next step?
I know that one thing is true beyond the shadow of a doubt. You, my dear one, are the Beloved child of the eternal. You are designed and built to be a blessing. That's who you are.
With great love,
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