How often are you where your body is?
I found myself throwing a clean, empty glass jar of pasta sauce into the recycling bin in the garage, and I thought, “How did this jar become empty and how did I get to the garage?”
I had no recollection of pouring the sauce into the pan on the stove, running a little water into the jar and creating a swirl, pouring the last drops out with a little shake, and rinsing the jar.
I had been so engrossed in my thoughts that several minutes passed on autopilot while I was elsewhere. It wasn’t until I returned to the kitchen and saw the lasagna sauce simmering away that it all came back in a rush.
Who was this “I” that was not present in my body? How was it serving me to be off in foreign lands, mulling over my worries, when my body was here in my kitchen?
One of the first things we learn in coach training is presence. Our ability to be in the body, completely aware of what it’s saying, and also fully awake with another person is what determines the quality of the relationship and the possibility of a deep shift for our clients.
Sometimes, as a coach, it’s my job to say the challenging observation. When I’m fully present as myself and I’m fully awake to what’s happening in the other, I have enough love to say the hard things and still maintain the trust and safety of my conversation partner. A huge part of the communication happens in the physical presence between us. I want that presence to be pure love.
So, I think of coaching as a way to let yourself be. It’s this juicy, relaxed-yet-alive space between you and the other person, where the truth can be known. Where the whole world shuts down, to really listen to what you need to hear. Where you can discover yourself underneath your thoughts and emotions and allow that tenderest self to show up.
Being in your body creates a confident and trusting time shared with the other person. Something about it allows them to be who they truly are, which is always the best way to be, where all the wisest choices are birthed.
What helps you to bring yourself back to the present? With whom do you feel it’s OK to just be here now? Remember: it’s only in the present moment that you can feel true happiness, peace, and joy.
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